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*Ana Prayer *

Forgive me Ana for I have sinned. It has been 30 seconds since my last confession.

I am weak, fat, and not worthy of such support.

I am ready to fall. I pray, please make me thin, tiny, non-existent.

Take me away from food, block it out.

I pray please for your guidance, for your firm voice to ring out in my head.

Yell at me please. Scream!

Keep me alone and away from the cupboards.

Help me to stay strong.

Be with me always and I will not forsake you.

Guard me from eating, committing sin against you.

I should rather than suffer than sin for there is strength in suffering.

Ana, I love you, please make me thin.

* Ana Creed *

I believe in Control, the only force mighty enough to bring order to the chaos that is my world. I believe that I am the most vile, worthless and useless person ever to have existed on this planet,

and that I am totally unworthy of anyone's time and attention. I believe that other people who tell me differently must be idiots.

If they could see how I really am, then they would hate me almost as much as I do.

I believe in oughts, musts and shoulds as unbreakable laws to determine my daily behavior. I believe in perfection and strive to attain it. I believe in salvation through trying just a bit harder than I did yesterday. I believe in calorie counters as the inspired word of god, and memorize them accordingly. I believe in bathroom scales as an indicator of my daily successes and failures I believe in hell, because I sometimes think that I'm living in it. I believe in a wholly black and white world, the losing of weight,

recrimination for sins, the abnegation of the body and a life ever fasting.

* Ana Psalm *

Strict is my diet.

I must not want.

It maketh me to lie down at night hungry.

It leadeth me past the confectioners.

It trieth my willpower.

It leadeth me in the paths of alteration for my figure's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the aisles of the pastry department

I will buy no sweet rolls for they are fattening.

The cakes and the pies, they tempt me.

Before me is a table set with green beans and lettuce.

I filleth my stomach with liquids, My day's quota runneth over.

Surely calorie and weight charts

will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the fear of the scales forever.

"Ana's Last Night *

Lying here hungry ...

My whole body in pain ...

Should probably eat something ...

But I feel too ashamed ...

Starting to shiver now ...

Beginning to shake ...

God how I love this ...

How my body just aches ...

Got up for some cold water ...

Then to take a cold shower ...

Remind myself that soon ...

I'll be a delicate flower ...

Did 3 hours exercise ...

But I must do some more ...

Still got one pound to loose ..

Like the pound I lost before ...

Whoa, got a dizzy head rush ...

Colors dancing all around me ...

Like little tiny faerie angels ...

Wanting to set me free ...

Oh wow, I'm floating with them ...

Going high up in the sky ...

I finally made it! ...

To the thinness that is I ..."